I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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