Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
