At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Boobs speak an international language.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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