So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
