My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
