Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
