I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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