Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
