as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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