yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
