your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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