They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
