dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
