Plan B is the new Plan A
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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