I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
