Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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