did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
