Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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