so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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