In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
