Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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