i would punch a child for taco bell
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
