if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
