Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
