Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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