I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
