Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
