I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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