My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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