what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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