I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
