Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
