FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
