i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i came on her dog
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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