Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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