I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize