Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
