Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie

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(559): View more from California

Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?

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(517): View more from Michigan

After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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(469): View more from Texas

Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.

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(478): View more from Georgia

I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other

(501): View more from Arkansas

Gotta pay for college somehow...

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