I don't remember. Are we still dating?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
