I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
