I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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