There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
