Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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