she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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