I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
