Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
