His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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