just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
