You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
