i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
