i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i need an iv and a liver transplant
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
