What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
