got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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