I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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