i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize