I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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