And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
