No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
