Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
