You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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