I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
